


Soldiers and Lovers

by The_Plaid_Slytherin



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Fix-It, M/M, Season/Series 4.5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-18
Updated: 2012-11-18
Packaged: 2017-11-18 22:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/566084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Plaid_Slytherin/pseuds/The_Plaid_Slytherin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill and Saul try to repair their relationship after finding Earth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soldiers and Lovers

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the BSG Epics Fic Pentathlon (slash).

Bill dashed through the rain, hoping it wasn't toxic. That was the last thing he needed, to be doused in acid rain… There was a Raptor just up ahead and thankfully the hatch was open. 

He froze in the doorway when he saw who was sitting inside.

"Don't want to come in while I'm here, huh?" Saul scowled at him. "I promise I won't say a word. I'll be a quiet little toaster."

Bill cringed at Saul's tone. Clearly, he wanted to be left alone, but the pouring rain washed away Bill's hesitation.

True to his word, Saul didn't say anything. He'd been sitting in the ECO's seat, so Bill moved to the front of the cabin and sat in the pilot's seat. 

He didn't know for how long they were silent, no sound but the heavy rain beating on the Raptor's canopy.

"Comms are down," Saul finally said, flicking a useless switch. "I was gonna stay here till the SAR bird reaches us, which won't be for a while because of the rain."

"What's wrong with the Raptor?" Bill hadn't realized mechanical troubles were the reason Saul was sitting here—he'd just been glad to see someplace dry to sit. 

Saul shrugged. "Tried to get a look but I'd have to lie in the mud and I didn't have any tools. Gimbal, I'd wager. Probably gonna just scrap her for parts." He patted the instrument console as if it were an old friend. "Don't I know what it's like to be an old, worn-out machine? Might as well just scrap me for parts." 

As much as he'd resolved not to care, Bill's instincts were so finely attuned to Saul's self-abusing attitude that it was simply instinctive. "Don't say that!" he exclaimed, turning in his seat. He froze with his mouth open when he saw how wide Saul's eye was. "I mean…" He shrugged.

"You mean," Saul drawled, "you can still get plenty use out of me?"

Bill heaved a sigh. "Saul, let's not…" There was no point in fighting; it wasn't as if they were getting back together. Maybe they could at least salvage their professional relationship.

"You're right. I'm sorry. Promised not to say anything."

Bill turned back around in his seat and stared out the window. This was definitely soldier Saul. Soldier Saul hadn't made an appearance when they were alone together in seven years, not since their relationship had moved from just-friends to something-more.

The memory came back unbidden and Bill swallowed hard. He still didn't like remembering that night, when he'd been nearly at his lowest…

_The stars looked dull from the ground, he thought. Maybe it was the atmosphere. Or the pollution. Or the fact that he wasn't wearing his glasses._

_Hell, maybe he was just hammered. But looking at the stars from the ground sucked._

_He had to get back into space. Sure, he was a washed-up old soldier, but he was a better washed-up old soldier than he was a civilian anything._

_He had to get back into space. Even if it was sweeping up on an old junker, he had to get back._

_"Well, this sure is different."_

_Bill craned his neck to look up. That was right. He was sitting on the sidewalk. "Looking at the stars from the ground_ sucks _."_

_"You're damn right about that." Saul settled down next to him. "You gonna hang around here or you want me to take you home?"_

_For some reason, that sent a shiver through Bill's body. Damn, it had been years since he'd let himself pretend Saul was talking about something else whenever he said something innocent like that._

_"Come on." Saul didn't wait for Bill to respond. He slipped Bill's arm around his shoulder and stood them up in one smooth motion._

_Somehow, they made it back to Bill's apartment and Saul dumped him into bed, shoes and all._

_When he woke, Saul was still there, in his kitchen, brewing a pot of coffee. He was wearing the same things he'd had on the night before._

_"Where's Ellen?" Bill asked, undoing his tie._

_"Kicked me out," Saul said. He said it so coolly Bill thought he might have misheard._

_"Again?"_

_"I think it might be for good." Saul opened Bill's refrigerator and began rooting around. "She said I should go be with—" He stopped._

_Bill ran his fingers through his hair, wondering what the sticky stuff was. "With what?"_

_"Myreallover."_

_"Who's that?" Bill might have been quicker on the uptake, but he had something sticky in his hair._

_"You."_

_Bill froze, fingers paused in the knot in his hair. "How come?"_

_Saul found some bacon and set it on the counter. "That's what she thinks… I mean… she's just saying it. I dunno." His ears were bright red._

_"Why didn't you tell her it wasn't true?"_

_Saul ran a hand over his head. "Because, Bill, I would rather clean up your vomit than save my marriage."_

_The full implications of that hit Bill. "You—"_

_"Apparently." Saul opened the cabinet Bill's frying pan was in (Bill hadn't known it was in there) and set it on the stove. "Why don't you go take a shower and we'll take it from there?"_

_"Saul?"_

_"Hm?"_

_"Do you wish she was right?"_

_Saul set the pan on the burner with a thunk. Finally, he said, "I'm too old to lie, Bill. Yes. Now, if you don't want anything to do with me because of it…"_

_"Shut up." Bill grabbed Saul's shoulder a bit more roughly than he'd have liked and kissed him. Saul stared at him wide-eyed, spatula raised over his head in surprise._

_When they broke apart, he said, "Godsdamn, Bill, you have to brush your teeth. We can do that again, but take a frakking shower first."_

_It hadn't been the most romantic thing, but since that moment, they'd been lovers. They'd returned to_ Galactica _from that shore leave_ lovers _and that had forever underscored all their interactions ever since._

_**_

__The rain in the silence was incredibly loud.

"Saul," he finally said. "Just because you're a Cylon, it doesn't mean you can't be my XO."

"Oh?"

"You've been a good XO for over ten years. I trust you."

Saul nodded. "That means a lot to me, Bill. Admiral."

That was the last straw. Bill got up and went back to Saul, who was still staring wide-eyed at him. With some discomfort, he dropped to his knees and took Saul's hands in his. "Saul, I can't stand this. I don't know what you want—hell, I don't even know what _I_ want—but I know I don't want this."

Saul looked down. His jaw was wobbling and Bill knew he wouldn't say anything for a good while. 

But they couldn't just throw this under the rug, not all their history. 

"Your hand," Saul said, with obvious effort. "You've got dirt all in that cut."

Bill hadn't noticed.

"Shove over," Saul said, standing up. "Let me take care of you." 

Bill hesitated. He didn't know why—maybe he didn't deserve to have Saul looking after him after the way he'd treated him, maybe he still wasn't comfortable with having a Cylon touch him.

That last thought was very unsettling—logically, it didn't make sense. He and Saul had been best friends for thirty years and lovers for seven. Nothing had changed on the surface. Saul was still Saul. Now, he just knew more about him. 

Bill closed his eyes. Saul was still on his hands and knees, rooting around under the seat for the med-kit. 

"How'd you manage to do this to yourself anyway?" 

Bill bit his lip. "Broke a mirror." 

"Did you punch it or something?" Saul snapped the case open and began gathering his supplies. 

"Yeah." He swallowed hard. "When I found out what you were." 

Saul didn't pause in unrolling some fresh bandages. "You have it seen to?"

"Dressed it myself."

Saul shook his head. "You really are stubborn, you know that?" 

"Yeah, I do." 

Saul's shoulders shook with laughter. "What would you do without me?"

"I don't know."

"Oh, Bill." Saul took Bill's hand in his and began wiping it with disinfectant. He didn't say anything else, which disappointed Bill. He wasn't sure what he'd wanted—a confession of love, a reassurance that they could go back to normal. He didn't think it was true, wasn't even sure if that was what he wanted… 

He winced as the disinfectant stung his hand. "Just hope you don't have a scar," Saul said. 

Bill hadn't thought that far ahead. Would he live long enough to have a scar? Why did Saul care about his hands?

"Wish you'd let me take care of you," Saul went on, knotting the bandage in place. "You've always fought me on this, forever. Learn to let somebody else do it, okay?"

Bill frowned. He was really in no position to do that, was he? His XO was a Cylon. He couldn't put any more burden on Laura… 

"There we go," Saul said. "Good as new." 

Bill stared down at his now neatly-bandaged hand. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Saul made no moves to sit back in his seat. He was still holding Bill's hand. "Listen, Bill—"

Bill didn't want to wait for what Saul might say. He leaned forward and kissed him. At first, Saul seemed to panic and Bill was suddenly terrified he might push him away. He broke the kiss rather than let that happen. 

Saul was staring at him. Bill hugged him tight, unable to bear his expression. "I'm so sorry, Saul. The things I said."

Saul seemed to hesitate for a moment, but he pulled Bill into his arms. "Don't worry about it," he murmured. "Don't worry about it. Lords know what I'd have done if things were switched."

Somehow, they wound up sitting on the floor, pressed up against the hull of the Raptor. Bill was settled comfortably in Saul's arms and it was almost like he'd forgotten how that felt, to have his head on Saul's shoulder, to be inhaling his scent, mixed with the musty smell of the rain outside. 

"Are they coming for us or are we going to have to go to them?" Bill finally asked. 

Saul grunted, like he'd nearly fallen asleep. "Guess we should go to them."

Slowly, they got up, the curtain having fallen between them. Soldiers now, not lovers.

At least the rain had stopped. Bill paused outside the Raptor to look back at the ruins of the city.

"I don't remember a thing, you know," Saul said. "Flashes here and there, but that's it. This place. They say it's my home, but it's not." He snorted. "Reckon that means I don't have one."

Bill reached out to take Saul's hand in his. "You do, Saul. You'll always have a home. Any ship I'm in command of." He hoped that was good enough, but it was all he could offer. He couldn't make human society accept Saul, but he could accept Saul.

Saul smiled at him. "I appreciate that, Bill."

"C'mon." Bill gave Saul's hand a little tug, indicating he wanted to walk and hold hands. "Show me the places you got flashes."

Together, they picked through the ruins of what Saul suddenly exclaimed had been his office at the university.

"Can't really see you as an academic," Bill teased.

Saul laughed. "Neither can I. Hell of a thing, ain't it?" He indicated the shattered chalkboard which was still covered in faded equations. "Can't make heads or tails of this crap."

Bill studied him out of the corner of his eye. This was soldier Saul, guarded and self-deprecating.

And who had this third Saul been, buried under the rubble?

That brought him to lines of thought he'd rather not entertain. Saul was the one to guide them away from the rubble. 

"I don't really want to hang around here," he said gruffly. "Don't like this place." 

Together, they stepped over a collapsed wall and headed down what looked like a main roadway. 

Bill tightened his grip on Saul's hand. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." Saul cracked a smile, but it seemed a little forced. The soldier's façade was crumbling. "They've got to be sending a SAR team. We'd better get to an open space where they'll see us."

"Always cool in a crisis," Bill murmured, accepting Saul's help to step over a chunk of masonry. "That's one of the things I love about you."

Saul caught his elbow, so that they were standing chest-to-chest. "Bill, you can't be yanking my chain here. Do you, or do you not mean that?"

"Mean what?"

"That you love me."

Bill cupped his cheek. "Gods, of course I do." He kissed him firmly, letting his thumb trail to behind Saul's ear. "How could you even doubt that?"

"Bill, everything's been so crazy… I don't even know what I am anymore. I need something to be certain of."

"Well, you can be certain of me," Bill kissed him again and this time, Saul finally kissed him back, just as he had when Bill had stepped out of the bathroom after his shower and two vigorous shampoos. 

_It was intoxicating, like nothing Bill had ever experienced before. He was barely conscious of the fact that he was wearing nothing but his bathrobe, that his wet hair was dripping down the back of his neck._

_Saul was kissing him, was murmuring how amazing he was and that was the only thing he cared about._

__"Gods, Bill," Saul murmured against his neck. "You're amazing." They stood like that for a long time, just holding each other.

 _Lovers again_ , Bill thought and it felt like coming home. 

"The SAR team'll be coming soon," Saul said. "Do we care if they see us like this?"

Bill took a second to think about it. Could they go back to being soldiers now? "No," he said, kissing Saul. "I don't care. Let them see."


End file.
